so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
