I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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