420 ftw
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
