You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
