I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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