i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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