I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
