I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
