it's not cheating when I paid for it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Drunk is a universal language darling
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
