at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
