If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
