No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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