It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
