haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize