Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
