Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
