i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
