I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
