i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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