You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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