Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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