I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
