R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
