carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
