dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
