then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
