is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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