I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
