david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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