Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
