You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
