I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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