I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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