Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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