just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
