Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize