he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
