I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
