yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
