Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
