He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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