U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
