Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
