Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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