I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
