and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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