just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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