Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
