I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
