We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
no you cant smoke seaweed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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