I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
