haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
