the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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