hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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