we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
