we're blogging at a bar
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
