so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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